I used to spend my time at home, when there's only me and my mom alone, and played with myself. I'd always pretend that I'm either a cashier, or a teacher. But most oftenly, a teacher. Probably a tuitor. Because my room couldn't really hold thirty or fourty "students". And that I can only find a maximum of about fifteen exercise books(almost all from my brother) to "grade" and "give out".

And very fortunately, my dad loved me so. And he bought me this really big whiteboard. I used to wear my mom's shoes "in class". And even got to the extend of making up my own schedule. Like, half an hour English. After that, Science, and so on. I would scold my "students", joke around with "them". Just like how a normal teacher would.

And I'm pretty amazed at how things turned out in the end. Amazed at the fact that being a teacher was the last thing on my mind. Amazed that I felt almost the exact opposite of what I used to be.

It's now, that the urge of bringing entertainment to people all over the world became stronger. And the tendency to create my very own world, spending the rest of my life with no one, except me myself, and my own artistic world, turned to a dream I want very much to make into reality.

And it's now, that I'm not the old me. The old, cheerful, loving me. I wanted a space of my own. I needed no help from no one. I wanted to succeed. I became more self-centered. Cynical. I'm myself. Individually.

But sometimes, I ask myself again. Who am I? Am I really suppose to be like that? For the rest of my life? Or am I suppose to change my way thinking, to what I really am suppose to be? Am I just another fake? Who thinks I am who I'm not? Am I suppose to be different from what I am now? And who am I suppose to be? Myself? I know. But what am I? How can I know who I'm suppose to be, when I don't have a single clue as to whether who I actually am?

Will I go hell, if I continue living my life like this? Will I be hated? Scorned? Despised? Will I?