Everything feels different. Everyday single day I feel like I know very clearly what I'm doing. But I just don't know why the hell I am doing that for. Was it because you told me to? Was it because I just want to be normal? To be just like everyone else? And lead my life like that? Was it becasue I'm afraid I would be laughed at if I were different? Or was it because I was just simply doing what you did? So that I would become someone like you? And have everything that you owned. Have good friends you always hang out with. Be the apple of everyones' eyes.

Is that it?

Or was it because I was wishing I was never born into this place? Was it because I just want to get it over with as quickly as possible? And start it all over again. Until someday, everything might come to a perfect stop? Was it because I'm tired of doing things different? Tired of this and that and everything else? Tired of you? Tired of my parents and my friends? Tired of myself?

Or maybe this is all a dream, a nightmare, and I would wake up in a beautiful place, all cuddled up beneath your arms. Surrounded by your warmth. And I would hear nothing but your voice. You would feed my. Play with me. Whisper my name. Laugh with me. Tease with me. Run with me. Walk along the lovely beach with me.

Then we would sit, back by back. Admiring the beautiful sunset. And I would ask myself,"Shouldn't I be born here instead? Why haven't I been here long ago? What have I done to waste the first few years of my life suffering?"

But right now, all I've got to do is say goodbye, kill myself, and wait for you here.

And all you've got to do is fetch me there.