#309: Lemon tears.
April 19, 2013

I don't know why I'm still holding on. I don't know why this mattered so much to me. I guess I needed something to feel and now I've tasted it I want more�now I've tasted it I want to gobble it all down.

I don't know why I still have the cheeks to say 'I miss you'. What made me think I had you to start with? What made me think all those silly games we made up were a sign for me to call you mine? Mine enough to say now, that I miss you like crazy.

I miss you like fucking crazy. But I don't miss you. I don't miss when I have to sit on your bed and watch you clean your room. I don't miss watching movies after movies on your lousy laptop. I don't miss having to sit facing you while I have my lunch. In fact, I hate them. They make me feel uncomfortable. But I cannot get enough of them�cannot get enough of the way you stare at me when I look away; cannot get enough of the moments when I feel a text message coming. They are like the calm before a storm�the most beautiful suspense; the deafening silence. The mystery that never goes away.

2:22 a.m.

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