But please don't stop. Like the flickering of a dying lamp, please don't stop. Like the faint glow of a single star; the tired breeze snaking through the cracks of my window at night; the soft rustling of the papers on my desk; the wind that chose to dance with the few softest strands of my hair, lightly brushing across my cheeks�I wish you never stop.

Because these are the things that keep me alive, keep me moving, keep me whole. These are the moments I felt closest to even if you are, in fact, furthest from. These are the moments that I tell myself it had all been worthwhile�something will grow out of this.

It may not happen now. Nor anytime soon. But it will, eventually. Something will grow out of your almond-shaped eyes, or your dragging footsteps. Or your fingers that you like to keep in your pockets, and the smile you are trying to hide.

And for now, I just want to say I'm sorry. It had to be done and so I am sorry. I have faith but for now I am still trying to trust this faith. I want to believe I am good for this, for you, for us, and when the time comes, I will be.

So please don't stop. Please continue to exist even if it kills me now. Please walk through the door as I am opening one even if standing right in front of you meant a thousand daggers through my feet. Please look at me even if it makes my heart stop, shrink, collapse, and in its place, a place of nothingness.

Please give me a reason to suffer. Because the reason is the reason I live for�all my emotions, thoughts, ideas, ideals manifested into one being.