I want to be happy for him. I want someone, anyone, to know but I don't know what to say anymore. Words, words, words, words, what else is there to say except words? I wish my thoughts and feelings are like weightless feathers I can reach in and take out and leave behind somewhere in my room. I wish I didn't have to bring them out today. I wish sometimes, just sometimes if I feel like it, I can lie within them and take a nap and dream about them.

I want him to know everything about me and yet nothing about me can be put into sentences.

I wish I were his weightless feathers.

I don't want this post to end. I want the words and the thoughts they made you think to linger in space. I want time to stop so you will spend forever feeling what I am feeling now.

I wish it was hard on you as hard as it is on me. I wish you'd die if I didn't exist. I wish everything you do is a painful reminder of how you can never understand me.